I’ve been thinking, what porn do you think John McCain and Barack Obama would stroke to?

Let’s start with President Obama, oops, I mean Senator Obama. Barack is not your typical black man. Let’s face it, he’s not completely black, he’s half and half, kind of like Spock from Star Trek, only without the green gizz and lack of charisma. We could pull the interracial card here with a title like Chill starring Dee (one of my personal favorites).

But wait a second, Barack’s pretty small for a black guy, and he was raised in Hawaii and Indonesia. This tells me he either has a thing for pacific islanders out of nostalgia, or may have a deep desire for the polar opposite, blonde babes with big boobies. Logically, he’d be stuck between Whoriental and Juggernauts, which is a pretty good place to be stuck in.

Personally, I think Barack Obama has something more serious in mind, Mrs. Obama, and while Michelle may secretly want Bad Seed’s White Poles in Dark Holes, I think she’d ask Mr. Obama to bring home something entertaining and sexy at the same time. He’d probably get Dark Confessions, Pulp Friction, or maybe even My Girlfriend’s a Vampire.

Meanwhile, back in Arizona, we have Senator John McCain. Maybe the ol’ guy has a thing for watching old war heroes like Dave Cummings get it on with sexy young chicks.

Something tells me McCain’s got a darker side, like a taste for dark meat. For someone who voted down MLK’s birthday so often, I think he hides a taste for thick and black titles like West Coast Productions’ All Dat Azz 8, or Pink Visuals She Got Pumped.

Could it possibly be that being a POW in Vietnam gave McCain a serious slant-eye craving for Ass Stickers or, Asian Slut Invasion.

All that confinement could have given Johnny boy a thing for S&M. Do you think he likes the older stuff like Bruce Seven’s A Touch of Leather, or something new like O-The Power of Submission from Adam and Eve Pictures?

There’s no doubt in my mind, of the two McCain’s gotta be the bigger perv, but he’ll never admit it.

So who’s gonna win? I dunno, it’s not like us cartoon characters catch much of a break either way. Personally, I’d vote for the one who’ll make me a contract girl.